New Orleans Bar Round-Up
Photo by Kristina Volgenau
Last week I was in New Orleans for Tales of the Cocktail, an annual conference for the spirits industry. (I had a big week: I went from a bachelorette party, to a cocktail conference in NOLA, to an engagement party – 10/10 for fun, 10/10 for exhaustion.) My friend and creative partner Olivia was my travel buddy. Needless to say, I didn’t get a chance to drink alone; we were drinking all day then drinking all night, and we were around a lot of people a lot of the time. But Olivia and I did manage to hit up some bars while we were in NOLA and I figured it was worth a recap.
Columbina and Banana Colada
Jewel of the South - 1026 St Louis St, French Quarter
Olivia and I came here our first night in NOLA after we couldn’t get into the Bacardi drag ball, and it might’ve been my favorite place we went. We went around 10pm and were able to snag spots at the bar, sandwiched between two other Tales attendees, easily identifiable by their wristbands. This place is adorable (dare I say, a jewel) and we got drinks and fries. Olivia’s cocktail, a curried banana colada of sorts, was the winner - refreshing yet complex, with fun pops of tropical fruit and a backdrop of curry. My first drink was the gimlet-like Columbina - tasty but pretty basic. Then the fellow conference-goer next to me recommended the Calliope Cantaloupe, which I had to order because how could I not? Totally delicious, but three sips in I realized I had hit my alcohol-wall (my alco-wall? I’ll see myself out.)
Should you drink here alone? OMG yes, it would be a delightful place to ride solo and if I lived nearby, I’d be there all the time. ALSO it won Best US Restaurant Bar and one of their bartenders won Best US Bartender at the Tales Spirited Awards.
Vieux Carrè and Pimms Cup
The Carousel Bar - Hotel Monteleone, 214 Royal St, French Quarter
New Orleans is a huge drinking town, but it’s also the origin of a lot of classic cocktails. The Carousel Bar inside the Hotel Monteleone purportedly invented the Vieux Carrè, and it also has a bar that FULLY ROTATES like a goddamn carousel. Olivia and I went mostly for the novelty of it. The bar is certainly beautiful but good lord does it spin, it’s amazing I didn’t get nauseous. The bartenders don’t revolve with it and I cannot imagine how impossibly hard it is to keep the guests straight when everyone is moving all the time. Our bartender fully forgot our order and in fact, asked us what we’d like for a second time after we’d already done a complete rotation. I ordered the Vieux Carrè, because I figured I should, and he condescendingly asked if I’d ever had one before because “it’s kinda boozy.” Olivia got the Pimms Cup. Yet again she was the winner, because her cocktail was actually good, while mine was the worst Vieux Carrè I’ve ever had. (My Vieux Carrè can run circles around that bartender’s, pun intended.) Just because something was invented somewhere in the 30s, doesn’t mean they make the best one almost 100 years later.
Should you drink here alone? You could, but it’s way more fun to have a buddy who you can turn to and say, “this is wild.”
Saba - 5757 Magazine St, West Riverside, Audubon
Not a bar, but easily the best food we had while in NOLA. It’s a stupid delicious Mediterranean restaurant from Alon Shaya, a celebrated Israeli-New Orleanian chef. Everything we ate was amazing: the lutenitsa, the roasted beets, the hummus, the falafel, the eggplant, the PITA! I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. We drank beer in order to take a break from cocktails, but they had a decent drink menu, plus Israeli sodas and a cool selection of Arak.
Should you drink here alone? I would! Cocktails and hummus at the bar? Yes please.
My Last Word with NO garnish :)
Cure - 4905 Freret St, Freret
The first craft cocktail bar in New Orleans. Olivia and I went here after a Tales event with one of our industry friends and scored spots at the bar. It’s probably the place that felt the most akin to other cocktail bars in New York, albeit bigger because in New York, space is hard to come by. I’ve never before seen a cocktail menu not list the ingredients in their drinks, but just describe them. They also name the creator of each cocktail, which rocks. Olivia ordered the Conversation Piece, “a sun-soaked cobbler.” I ordered a Last Word, one of my favorite classic cocktails, because I have a running bet with a dear bartender friend about how a Last Word should be garnished, so I relish the opportunity to continue my winning streak. (Long-ass story short: he thinks it should have a cherry, I think it should not. We have a shared list where we keep track of the bars we go to and how they garnish their Last Words. I am winning. By a landslide.) Our friend asked for a Ramos Gin Fizz, and the bartender said that he would get someone else to do it. I love this place.
Should you drink here alone? For sure. Great drinks, great vibes, great people. I’d be very happy being a regular.
We got a delish bottle of pet nat to end the week
Compère Lapin - 535 Tchoupitoulas St, Warehouse District
Olivia and I are huge Top Chef fans, so for our final dinner, we wanted to go to Nina Compton’s signature restaurant in New Orleans. We got a bottle of wine to celebrate our successful week at Tales, but the cocktails are supposed to be delicious. The place is farmhouse-chic and feels cozy and casual in an upscale way. The food was also super yummy - biscuits, a little gem salad to die for, pasta, coconut panna cotta! We basically had to roll ourselves out.
Should you drink here alone? Absolutely. Treat yourself to a fancy meal and some nice drinks, I’m sure you deserve it.
We also went on The Big Gay Bar Tour, led by French Quarter Frank Perez. If you’ve never been on a walking bar tour, it’s quite simple: you walk around and go to different bars. Here are all the gay bars we hit up on this tour. I probably wouldn’t recommend drinking alone at any of them in the daytime, which was when we went. But hey, if that’s your thing, rock on.
Crossing - 439 Dauphine St. It’s a queer bar that’s been there since the 70s. I got an Abita beer and Olivia got a Bloody Mary with a garnish shaped like a penis.
The Corner Pocket - 940 St Louis St. This one features go-go boys who dance on the bar every night starting at 9pm! Also our bartender was Philip, aka drag queen Felicia Philips. I got a gin and soda that cost like $3.
The Page - 542 N Rampart St. This bar was closed when we walked by, but Frank pointed it out as the predominant Black queer space in NOLA.
Black Penny - 700 N Rampart St. It used to be a lesbian bar called Bradley’s, but now it’s “a bar for everybody.” Pretty sure I just got a seltzer in order to pace myself.
GrandPre’s - 834 N Rampart St. Home of the lobster bib Jell-O shot. We legit saw lobster bibs passed out to those about to take a Jell-O shot. Olivia got a White Claw and had the entirely original thought that “White Claw’s kinda good.” I got a Miller Lite, but I definitely wish I had gotten a Jell-O shot for $1 (!?).
Cafe Lafitte in Exile - 901 Bourbon St. In the 50s, Cafe Lafitte was a gay bar down the street, and its bigoted landlord kicked them out. So Cafe Lafitte in Exile opened nearby as a big fuck-you. It’s open 24/7, which, what!? This was the last bar on our tour and I can safely say I don’t remember what I drank.
